Friday, August 7, 2015

Caution: Insanely Moody Person Approaching

I'm writing this blog post because one my boyfriend thought it would be helpful, which I agree with, and two, I want to always be 100 percent honest with all of you. 

I started going through my first lupus flare a few weeks ago just as I was finally starting to adjust to my new medication. My rheumatologist decided to put me on Prednisone to help with the flare. Initially I started feeling much more energetic but then I started to notice some side effects. 
By side effects I mean I go from completely and utterly depressed in a corner crying, to complete psycho b**** mode, to the happiest person on this planet in a matter of minutes. I swear it's unreal. Plus I feel like I've gained 20 pounds by how bloated I am. It's so hard to look in the mirror and see so much round (not like some of it isn't round when I'm not on steroids but you get my drift). 

Yesterday I had a total meltdown and ruined everything my boyfriend had planned for my birthday. I don't know why I am so lucky to have someone who cars about me so much and is so understanding, but I do. He also brought to my attention that I have been very down compared to my normal self and I don't think I realized how true that is. I only have a few days of steroids left and they could not come sooner. I am extremely worried that my energy will go right back down though.

I think he would rather have me sleeping compared to me yesterday though! I wouldn't be able to get through most of my days without such a supportive person by my side and I'm so beyond grateful for him. It is amazing how much one person can change your life, truly. 

So basically where I'm going with this is it's been really hard lately to be myself and I have to force it a lot of the time. I definitely wish I could just say screw it and stop eating right and working out but I know that will only make me feel worse. I have hated taking medicine my whole life and to rely on a few prescriptions does not make me feel good. I don't like the feeling of my emotions taking over me and hurting the people I love. This is my life right now and I'm dealing with it but I needed to vent a little. So thank you for reading! 

Xoxo Christina 

Monday, August 3, 2015

Did You Miss Me?

Ok so let's cut to the chase... I forgot about my blog. I completely went on a hiatus and neglected this poor little thing for months. This is why we can't have nice things! Anyways, I'm back and ready to mesmerize you with my crazy exciting life (I'm going to have to find some crazy and exciting things to do fast). 

First of all it's a new month! On top of it being a new month it is my birthday month! 

I am going to be 25 in a few short days and I'm starting to actually panic a little. This birthday is sneaking up like an ominous black cloud showing me all the things I haven't accomplished by my mid twenties. Screw the cloud, I'm actually kind of happy with where my life is at right now! 

The next thing August brings is new goals. So guilty, that's why I am writing this blog. I needed a little push to get this going. I haven't known what to write about. So my goals are both tangible and specific. That is the only way I make progress. My water intake is depressing and I really need to focus more on that. So far I have hit my goal both days of August. I will start working out more regularly, that has been slacking due to my joint pain and exhaustion. I need to push through anyways. The last goal I am giving myself is to track absolutely everything. This is going well so far also. So well that my weeklies are in the negatives right now, oh well Memphis is getting the best of me (I'm on vacation by the way, dedication people!). 

I promise not to leave you all alone for that long again. I also will be revamping this blog to include my etsy shop and a little more cooking! Watch out for the changes, I think they're going to be fabulous! 

Happy August! 

Xoxo Christina